Long paragraphs telling your partner what they did wrong < long paragraphs telling your partner how they got it right .
acknowledging when your partner makes you feel good, says the right kind of things, does the sweet things, write them long paragraphs for that too.
when’s the last time you wrote your partner a long paragraph just telling them how much they helped you get through the day, or a spontaneous “this is what you mean to me…” sentiment.
i think so often we get caught up in routine and so easily the excitement only comes during times of arguing or fights— get crazy about how much you love someone too. scream about it. write paragraphs about it. call your friends about it. do all the things you do when you wanna kill them— do it when things are amazing. go overboard. apologize about how you got carried away with all the love you wanted to give them😂
we have to do more than just be grateful for the good times, we have to show our gratitude. we have to. people are not here forever. you never know when it’s going to be your last laughs together, or your last movie together. show them now. be corny now. tell the world about your happiness now.
we are wayyyyyy too caught up in the bullshit. too caught up in “what if”.
too ungrateful with the partners we say we love. too careless with their hearts.
stop cheating. stop lying. stop flirting with people on Instagram. stop living these one foot in, one foot out lives. And stop defending your pessimism. Sis, there’s no way “all niggas AINT shit”, it’s just impossible. Change your own narrative. Date the corny ones. Date the nerdy ones. Date different ones. Try something new. Remember, the common factor is YOU. And men, Idk I’m almost bout through with y’all, but lemme tell you something— listen to women. honor women. And be INTENTIONAL. Women are not revolving doors, they are not options, they are your equal.
Maybe if we just start with ourselves, maybe if we just start by TRYING. This generation will be able to experience real, and lasting love. I enjoy the Future memes too, and the Justin LaBoy posts from time to time, but in my heart of hearts, I don’t want dysfunction for myself, my family, my friends or the next generation to follow. Toxic relationships can be traumatizing and paralyzing— but we don’t have to allow it to define us, we can very well choose to simply say “ THIS IS NOT WHAT GOD HAS FOR ME”. A lot of what we are choosing or are settling for, we KNOW could never and WOULD never be Gods plan for our life. You think God wants you to settle for a man who can’t even get you decent roses on Valentine’s Day? The answer is so CRYSTAL CLEAR. And we complicate it, why? Why? Because we NEED to defend our bullshit— we always create some reason that explains why we were undeserving of love.
“Oh, well, he didn’t get me flowers because he’s going through a rough patch right now and didn’t have it”— oh but sis, he always got it when he needs it right? when he needed to smoke he had to go buy some weed right?
See things for what they are, not for what you want them to be. Just simply as they are.
He did not buy me flowers because he does not prioritize my happiness, and felt it was optional.
Don’t speak dishonestly.
It lacks integrity, and it lacks self-respect.
And it lacks power too.
When you settle for bullshit, there’s really only one reason why.
You’re scared.
Scared of something.
Scared you won’t be able to find another partner like this one, scared they’ll find someone “better” than you, scared that you can’t do it on your own, scared of BEING alone.
But you’re scared.
And that’s your problem. Once you give up the fear. You tap into an entirely different life for yourself. One of love. One of God. One of Faith. One that’s divine. One that is purposeful.
Remember.
God didn’t give you a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind.
Check on your thought patterns.
Check on your decisions.
Check on yourself.
And adjust accordingly.
Stop being so fucking SCARED.
You’re powerful, and protected— act like it.